Abati Vs Doyin: Who Commands Aso Rock Media High Command? By Taju Tijani

By Taju Tijani

Recently, mound of evidence emerged of dumb Dame Patience Jonathan's ugly descent into gratuitous attack on Reuben Abati over his arse-kissing type of image laundering. The unspeakably powerful wife of the president is not a woman who respects piety, formality of language and the incomparable intellectual chasm between her and Reuben Abati. Confessional stories from newspapers and gags from Facebook and other social media sites agreed that Patience Jonathan - Nigeria's newest perm sec - fell to the dictate of her colossal ego and had Abati all strung up on charges of dramatic mutation from being an abrasive journalist to a comical scribe. While the formalities and privileges of First Lady thrill Patience endlessly, Abati could not provide that tragic balance of reining  in the murky meanness of Nigeria's commentariat communities that respect no restraint in the kind of things written about the president and his stentorian and self-promoting wife.  

The short, squat and buffoonish Patience is a study in grumpiness. She is famed to be the woman who holds Jonathan's wobbly balls, brain and even birthright  in captivity.  With no grace of expression, charm of personality and rustic decorum of a once village girl, she is left to wild ravings, crafty deceit and bootstrap authoritarian subculture that flare up frequently in the corridors of Aso Rock. She is a true daughter of the bullshit breed. Thank God, Patience "Umblella" Jonathan has unmasked Abati's illusion of a cosy, safe journalistic harbour. At last, Abati's cloudy and smudged vision of the job of a spin doctor has come to haunt him. The old historical scoops of a giddy intellectual environment of an Editorial Boardroom, the ecstasies, the patriotic flourish of combative writings have all come to epitomise the hubristic catastrophe of poor career judgement.  

What kick-started Abati's diminishing returns could be located in Patience original impulse for protection from scurrilous media hounds and relentless negativity of her many criminal excesses. First, she was hounded and criticised for her appointment as a Permanent Secretary in the Bayelsa Ministry of Education. Then, in her own unique resource optimisation strategy, it was alleged that she is building a 200-roomed hotel in Lagos. Thirdly, an Abuja street was named after Patience. To prove that she bestrides the African political landscape like a colossus, she enforced the gathering of Africa's Spoilt First Ladies - at a huge cost!.

 With a mixture of impunity, lawlessness and disdain, Patience plundered the treasury of billions of naira to purchase 200 cars for the gathering jamboree of Africa's most wicked high class witches. The answer to her monumental lawlessness is beyond our ken to understand. Patience arrogance, her contemptuous rather than contrite spirit provoked the nation's anger. There was a raw outpouring of polemical rage, insults, name calling and criminal culpability for high treason for stealing state money to stage a bizarre event at a time of national soul searching.  Nigerians for the first time are seeing a new, despicable gem of invention from a proudly illiterate First Lady. Patience's parasitic proclivity reinvents itself as apologia for licensed  stealing. Naked and vulnerable, Patience relies on Abati who happens to be her husband's spin doctor to stem the tide of criticisms questioning her unfolding immoral vanities.   However, she is unaware that the best safeguard against bad publicity is not the emergency recruit of an attack dog, or bulldog, or junkyard dog for that matter. But when like Caesar's wife she begins to live above board, that choice will naturally encourage good report.

Aging Doyin Okupe, the so-called attack dog, must know that the arc of time has imported a paradigm shift in the temper of public discourse. During Olusegun Obasanjo's incumbency, the Owu combatant - an apostle of muscular democracy - coated himself in the hideous finery of authoritarianism, sink estate rascality, military chutzpah and do-or-die audacity. These attributes shed their own reflected glory on the success of Okupe as the mad dog of Obasanjo. Like master like servant, so to say. But Jonathan is a stark contrast to Obasanjo. He is the ugly antithesis of the demons that lived, possessed and drove Obasanjo. Unlike Obasanjo who has many finest moments to count as achievements - EFCC, NAFDAC and Telecom deregulation -  Jonathan is a disastrous aberration. Worse, his wife Patience has been left to steal far more integrity-sinking limelight since the beginning of Jonathan's presidency.

Therefore, the canine-like hero worship been thrown at Okupe would eventually turned out to be ensnaring. Okupe as an attacking mad dog in the midst of millions of unhappy, desperate and sworn adversaries of his paymaster is quaint irony to this writer. Before the canine hunting begins,  Okupe is already defeated, beaten and eaten alive by madder dogs out there. We are waiting for Okupe's first canon shot. Watch this space! Patience is the queen of the South-South coast raised through sheer stroke of fortuitous happenstance to judge and condemn crtitcs of her uncontrolled impulse for ephemeral and primordial vanities. I urge every critic of this profligate fat mama to raise the tempo of her condemnation before an open world. She is unravelling as a slow motion tragedy in a nation that ships almost daily into travesty and disgrace.  Jonathan and his wife stand out today as harbingers - they are the harbingers of their own luckless pull to venomous publicity.  

Reuben Abati on the other hand is living a lie. Reputation management requires instant result. That is his major role from the start but hidden from him. Goodluck Jonathan, The Presidency and PDP administration are threesome disaster.  To wash off the stench, a decision was made to hire a professional-in-the-know who has unquestioned integrity and is popular among the reading public. The mantle fell on Abati and the rest is now tea party. So, image laundering, or to use its quaint new expression, reputation management,  has zero tolerance for failure. Realising this, I wrote an article titled "Aso Rock Media High Command: From Dream To Nightmare " (www.ttsoundings.com) advising Abati to seize the moment and offer a more engaging, robust, proactive and feedback-driven media to the president. Stung by his own inaction, Abati sprung into action and offered interviews to online media portals based in the Diaspora. His scorecard was abysmal. He achieved a mere 35% penetration. He failed in the most important area of saturation. His saturation score was mere12% from a possible score of 75%.

In the West, Abati would have been on his way back to his desk at Rutam House -The Guardian. Andy Coulson, the former editor of the defunct  News Of The World was hired by the British Prime Minister, David Cameron to fend off malicious Tory revelations getting to the public. Tough luck, Coulson was not up to the task. He lasted less than two years before he was relieved from the job. The lesson here is simple. To manage damaged reputation requires more than round tripping to exotic places with the president. It requires all the savvy, creativity and aplomb of a feared, engaging and respected personality.

This moment Abati is entrapped in a capsule of confusion.  He made a wrong career decision by gathering his soul with sinners and bloodthirsty men who are practising voodoo democracy against Nigerians and whose hands and toes are bloodied with bribery and corruption. Aso Rock does not require a media spokesperson. It does not require jaded public affairs geniuses.  These kinds of maps do not describe the territory of Aso Rock at all. What Aso Rock dreams is to devalorise or castrate our passion for rebellious rebukes against erring thieves in government and turn critics into fainthearts. What Aso Rock dreams is the birth of shallow, depthless and compliant journalism in contrast to the current form of robust, reckoning and rebuking tradition that is in high ferment. Let the muckraking, pushing, pulling and pummelling continue.

The Presidency and the accidental First Lady cannot hide their vulnerability, villainy and voluptuous appetite for vanity. A year ago when Reuben Abati lost his journalistic virginity to Aso Rock, I wrote an article titled "Abatimania: All Hail Abuja Spin Doctor " warning of the danger of bringing the rod on his back. The mythologies enacted in that piece are today's prophetic reality. The orthodoxy of public advocacy, mad doggism or dogmatism ascribed to Doyin Okupe and the pathetic pragmatism of Reuben Abati's cannot provide any galactic shield for the stationary treasury bandits managing our fourth republic. Like David, I pray, O Lord, turn the media counsels of these Ahithophels - Abati and Okupe - into foolishness.  For the time being, I am rolling my eyes like a smilling Buddha and waiting for Doyin Okupe's first dirty, doggy defence of a president who flies to Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago to watch dangling boobs of semi-naked Kambule Street carnival revellers at a time when his nation burns. Come on Okupe, it is time to sunbathe. E be like say my Waffi don do for now!
tajutijani@hotmail.com  

 

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Apparently my friend, you

Apparently my friend, you don't know what being a critic is all about. As a matter of fact many of you don't know. Fora like Sahara reporters are what make the government of other developed nations on their toes and carry out their jobs. In this country however, you all want us to sit back and praise the government, lets not criticize them, let us pat them in the back. Look, change will not come that way. If it will take articles like this to change this country then let it be. The job of the likes of SR is to point out what is not right, and they are doing a pretty damn good job.

Talk Positively

These people you abuse are people of proven integrity. You seem to have a personal bitterness towards them which dose not require you to air or share on a social media like this.

Learn how to use the social media positvely and not to generate unneccesary discourse among the entire public.

jona has the right of choice-in a democracy-jakande nko

THE fragile political situation in the country may be further eroded by a northern cabal which is clandestinely plotting the removal of President Goodluck Jonathan from office.
This cabal which consists of prominent and influential politicians, military officers and businessmen have sworn to achieve their objective at all cost between now and next year. Sources disclosed that the cabal has recruited some influential members of the House of Representatives to push their political desires to a boiling point.
“They have also made far-reaching incursion in the senate as some disgruntled senators have been successfully lured to the side of the cabal.”

pls read the article, the guy

pls read the article, the guy is not applying for the job but simply saying the truth and it is tyme this short, squat, illiterate first ady is called to order.

Shut the fuck up! If you

Shut the fuck up! If you don't have anything intelligent to addy just shut up as you irritate the intelligents on this forum.

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you for hiding under the anonymity of the internet to write this DISGUSTING article. Can you come in the open and utter the RUBBISH you wrote here? I challenge you to do so if you can? We have this freedom on the new media, which is good, but every freedom comes with RESPONSIBILITY. @Taju Tijani..,why cant use your freedom responsibly? Why has the ethics of journalism taking flight on SR? The IRRESPONSIBILITY several Nigerian writers display on this forum proves without doubt that many of us are WORSE than the political leaders we criticise. Can someone who is IRRESPONSIBLE in 'little' things be trusted to be RESPONSIBLE in 'bigger' things? @Taju Tijani..,can you in GOOD conscience say that this article of yours, filled with 'gutter-language' ATTACKS on persons, is a RESPONSIBLE one? Can you in GOOD conscience say that your article complies with the ethics of journalism? Shame on you @Taju Tijani and other IRRESPONSIBLE writers on SR !!!

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you for hiding under the anonymity of the internet to write this DISGUSTING article. Can you come in the open and utter the RUBBISH you wrote here? I challenge you to do so if you can? We have this freedom on the new media, which is good, but every freedom comes with RESPONSIBILITY. @Taju Tijani..,why cant use your freedom responsibly? Why has the ethics of journalism taking flight on SR? The IRRESPONSIBILITY several Nigerian writers display on this forum proves without doubt that many of us are WORSE than the political leaders we criticise. Can someone who is IRRESPONSIBLE in 'little' things be trusted to be RESPONSIBLE in 'bigger' things? @Taju Tijani..,can you in GOOD conscience say that this article of yours, filled with 'gutter-language' ATTACKS on persons, is a RESPONSIBLE one? Can you in GOOD conscience say that your article complies with the ethics of journalism? Shame on you @Taju Tijani and other IRRESPONSIBLE writers on SR !!!

The Presidency Does Not Need Abati

But Abati needs the presidency, just like most hungry journalists, to take care of their hungry families crippled by the failed Nigerian state. Those hungry journalists are in many unexpected quarters. Wait till Patience calls them up!

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you for hiding under the anonymity of the internet to write this DISGUSTING article. Can you come in the open and utter the RUBBISH you wrote here? I challenge you to do so if you can? We have this freedom on the new media, which is good, but every freedom comes with RESPONSIBILITY. @Taju Tijani..,why cant use your freedom responsibly? Why has the ethics of journalism taking flight on SR? The IRRESPONSIBILITY several Nigerian writers display on this forum proves without doubt that many of us are WORSE than the political leaders we criticise. Can someone who is IRRESPONSIBLE in 'little' things be trusted to be RESPONSIBLE in 'bigger' things? @Taju Tijani..,can you in GOOD conscience say that this article of yours, filled with 'gutter-language' ATTACKS on persons, is a RESPONSIBLE one? Can you in GOOD conscience say that your article complies with the ethics of journalism? Shame on you @Taju Tijani and other IRRESPONSIBLE writers on SR !!!

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you

@Taju Tijani..,shame on you for hiding under the anonymity of the internet to write this DISGUSTING article. Can you come in the open and utter the RUBBISH you wrote here? I challenge you to do so if you can? We have this freedom on the new media, which is good, but every freedom comes with RESPONSIBILITY. @Taju Tijani..,why cant use your freedom responsibly? Why has the ethics of journalism taking flight on SR? The IRRESPONSIBILITY several Nigerian writers display on this forum proves without doubt that many of us are WORSE than the political leaders we criticise. Can someone who is IRRESPONSIBLE in 'little' things be trusted to be RESPONSIBLE in 'bigger' things? @Taju Tijani..,can you in GOOD conscience say that this article of yours, filled with 'gutter-language' ATTACKS on persons, is a RESPONSIBLE one? Can you in GOOD conscience say that your article complies with the ethics of journalism? Shame on you @Taju Tijani and other IRRESPONSIBLE writers on SR !!!

No vacancy

Its clear you are canvassing for notice and probably a job offer at the presidency, well there is no vacancy in the media /public relations unit , so deal with it! If you were offered Abati's job or that of Okupe, am sure you would jump at it, you hypocrite hater.

@Ediri, stop fooling

@Ediri, stop fooling yourself-here-I know u are that kpako head tundemess--he does not think-very empty--if the first civilian governor of bayelsa state, Alams, assumed the mantle of leadership in that state in 2005-and oil was discovered there in 1957-----it simply means stealing started in bayelsa state just 7 yrs ago-when was lagos state kano, kaduna or imo states created then-what about the FCT in abuja? See the level of cheating in the SS? When boro started agitating for creation of states in 1960-a state was established for him only in 1996-that is the owners of the oil wells have been in charge just 7yrs ago out of the 60 yrs that tundemess and farouks have been stealing us blind-in the SS-time for us to say good bye-

shameless pigs-oga u see d article I write abuse jona

From MAU, Rueben Abati and Ngozi over their work with Jona to Doyin Akukpe. They assume as semi humans we have no reasoning faculties. It was Ok 4 Jakande and Buhari to be hired by abacha-Onabule by IBB, Bola Ige OBJ-but not Ijaw man Jona. Yet they proclaim 1 9ja 4 my kids-The thing is for dem is not to see you attempt to align with Jona-else u will be dead the next day-that is the metality of the baboons and snoopy dogs Bakare and Buhari wants to clone in (their) 9ja 4 us. The moment Jona attempts to get somebody to assist him-war breaks out from the camp of his domestic servants-whose pedigree as it concerns their hatred for anything Ijaw and the ppl of d SS in general is well known. But nurse no grudges against their oil revenues. That is why we have to do all to back the Ogonis. Bakare & Buhari want the oil wells 4 d 3 major tribes! Jona did not hire an ijaw man to help act as his attack rat or dog against SNG, ACN, PDP and CPC-na yoruba man like MAU! he hired-Yet they say Nay

same old master Danjuma pay buhari, I pay my rents articles

From MAU, Rueben Abati and Ngozi over their work with Jona to Doyin Akukpe. They assume as semi humans we have no reasoning faculties. It was Ok 4 Jakande and Buhari to be hired by abacha-Onabule by IBB, Bola Ige OBJ-but not Ijaw man Jona. Yet they proclaim 1 9ja 4 my kids-The thing is for dem is not to see you attempt to align with Jona-else u will be dead the next day-that is the metality of the baboons and snoopy dogs Bakare and Buhari wants to clone in (their) 9ja 4 us. The moment Jona attempts to get somebody to assist him-war breaks out from the camp of his domestic servants-whose pedigree as it concerns their hatred for anything Ijaw and the ppl of d SS in general is well known. But nurse no grudges against their oil revenues. That is why we have to do all to back the Ogonis. Bakare & Buhari want the oil wells 4 d 3 major tribes! Jona did not hire an ijaw man to help act as his attack rat or dog against SNG, ACN, PDP and CPC-na yoruba man like MAU! he hired-Yet they say Nay

the buhari and bakare baboon are back with their vomit-animals

From MAU, Rueben Abati and Ngozi over their work with Jona to Doyin Akukpe. They assume as semi humans we have no reasoning faculties. It was Ok 4 Jakande and Buhari to be hired by abacha-Onabule by IBB, Bola Ige OBJ-but not Ijaw man Jona. Yet they proclaim 1 9ja 4 my kids-The thing is for dem is not to see you attempt to align with Jona-else u will be dead the next day-that is the metality of the baboons and snoopy dogs Bakare and Buhari wants to clone in (their) 9ja 4 us. The moment Jona attempts to get somebody to assist him-war breaks out from the camp of his domestic servants-whose pedigree as it concerns their hatred for anything Ijaw and the ppl of d SS in general is well known. But nurse no grudges against their oil revenues. That is why we have to do all to back the Ogonis. Bakare & Buhari want the oil wells 4 d 3 major tribes! Jona did not hire an ijaw man to help act as his attack rat or dog against SNG, ACN, PDP and CPC-na yoruba man like MAU! he hired-Yet they say Nay