Beer Math By Hannatu Musawa

Hannatu Musawa
Columnist: 
Hannatu Musawa

Here’s a conundrum for you:

• First, pick the number of times a week you would like to have a mineral drink. (It should be more than 1 but less than 10).

• Multiply this number by 2.

• Add 5.

• Multiply it by 50.

• If you’ve already had your birthday this year add 1762. If you haven't, add 1761.

• Now subtract the four-digit year that you were born.
You should have a three-digit number
The first digit of this was your original number of the number of times a week you would like to have a mineral drink.
The next two numbers are.......
YOUR AGE!

 

When a friend told me that she could work out my age using a formula known as beer math, it initially sounded strange. When she started working it out using the above formula, the whole ‘add’ this, ‘subtract’ that and ‘multiply’ those seemed complicated. But at the end when I saw that the formula added up to my age and the number of drinks I had chosen in my mind, the whole complex process seemed to somehow make sense. The fact that the answer to the puzzle is accurate no matter the number of drinks chosen and the age of the person I tried it on reinforces, in my mind, the notion that sometimes one is confronted with a scenario that, on the face of it, seem unworkable, but in the end, the result makes sense. Much like the way I view Nigeria, a country of 250 different types of people lumbered together in one geographical location. A country with so much difficulties and dimensions but in the end, despite our troubles, it’s a country that makes sense to me.

 

Presently this nation exists within an atmosphere of divide and blame; so much so that people are calling for the separation of the country openly. The game where we blame each other for all the evils in our country never resonated more than a millisecond with me. I have always believed that the past and present government officials who have fluffed up the affairs of the country and the extremists that have chosen to exact a culture of violence are individually responsible for their own actions and it is unreasonable to extend guilt by association to everyone else with whom they share the same ethnic identity.

 

It is a fact that every decision, embezzlement and indiscretion made by our governments and leaders have been made by people from the various different parts of the country as they assemble a government of national character. It is no news to Nigerians that kidnapping, 419, armed robberies has been carried out by the different array of people across this country. Even the bombings and violence now predominantly carried out by Boko-Haram first reared its ugly head when the Niger-Delta militants unleashed terror on civilians in the FCT, Lagos and Port Harcourt. It is unlikely that at any point a region, as a collective, has endorsed the destruction of another as a matter of policy. It is a belief fuelled purely by dogma, self-delusion, ignorance and bigotry in varying levels.

 

When commentators and terrorists publicly refer to Nigerians in “us and them’ terms; when they suggest the separation of Nigeria in order to rid the country of ‘the bad-people’, it amounts to the pursuit of an agenda to revoke the full civil liberties of other Nigerians. Also, the people who think they are defending their freedom of speech and action by unreasonably reducing every mishap and tragedy in this country down to ethnic and religious indices, have not the ability to exercise these freedoms responsibly, or judge whether others do so because they are equally segregating others.

 

The truth is that anyone who continues to spread disharmony and promote dichotomy between the different regional and ethnic groups in the name of fighting for freedom, is not so different to those that set out to harm innocent Nigerians through violence or otherwise. They play a large part in perpetuating the bloody ethnic conflicts and tense inter-religious hatred we see today. We demonize the extremes of violence, but each form of violence exaggerates an endemic process of persuasion by those at the top of the social order. Most violence is not idiosyncratic: An irresponsible and careless expression by influential members of a society has the greatest potential of taking on a physical form. If those of us who are better informed continue to encourage inaccurate information of negative rhetoric and stereotype, then Nigerians, together or apart, will never overcome.

 

We need to start addressing the real issues and the particular individuals that have decayed this nation and apportioning blame where blame is due rather than allowing primitive sentiments to oppress our minds. If individuals in government loot our coffers, they, and not their village folk, should take individual responsibility for their misappropriation. If some crazy, demonic fanatic goes on a murderous rampage and blows up guiltless Nigerians, the blood of the innocents should be on that individual person’s hands and not on all the people who read the same scripture as him.

 

In the 52 years that we have existed as an independent country, terrible things have happened to Nigeria; gross amounts of abuse, loathing and corruption have underlined our existence. But with the bad, comes the good because in those 52 years, wonderful things have also happened. I have always believed Nigeria’s main asset is its people and diversity. Whenever I meet a Nigerian abroad, the tribe they come from or the stereotypes that their region is burdened with has never been a consideration for me. The fact that they come from Nigeria always gives me a sense of camaraderie and pride. Yes, we are different; different customs, different foods, different languages, different attire, different features and different beliefs but not so different that we cannot respect and embrace those differences.

 

I am a Hausa/Fulani from Katsina who is absolutely proud of my identity, culture and heritage. But before that I am, first and foremost, a Nigerian to my very core with the spirit and soul of my beloved motherland. I am more than happy to come from the most populous, interesting and diverse country in Africa.

 

This nation is very complicated and disturbed, but through God’s will we exist as a nation. And just like Beer Math, although we are a complicated formula, the different and various people fated together under this nation in theory does make sense to me. So if anybody tells you that Nigeria can add and multiply its worth by subtracting a certain region and dividing the country, despite the fact that their words sound like it’s emanating from a beer parlour, tell them about the unconventional logic I showed you today in Beer Maths!

 

I invite you to follow me on Twitter- @hanneymusawa

Comments
101 comment(s)
Post a comment

BEER MATHS

dis is awesome!!! got d whole thg right!!!whaooooo,lol.

Hausa/Fulani

Nigeria is a mirage.We need to work out the terms of our dissolution and not reconciliation. The time is now!

Let us avoid abuse, attack and depression

Abusing/attacking others may lead to depression and more negative consequences. Please avoid!

Sorry Hannattu : Unity and Fairness

I have ranted and raved on this page simply because of my kinsmen that were victims and the gory pictures. But I have come to realize that our unity in Africa is more important. Please let us unite, Yoruba, Nupe, Igbo, Hausa, etc , together while we look for the best solution that will make every group happy.

My apology to my big brothers, Sowore and Malcolm for opposing them.

Kudos to Sahara Reporters for the good works. I can feel the effect. Lead City U., Edo election, Boko Haram, Makoko, to mention a few.

@nupeman-lest i forget

So the christian killer squads littered throughout 9jas unfortunate history struck for a reason?

Is that so?

They struck in 1966 for a cause?

They killed murtala for a cause?

Assasinated abacha for a cause?

Really?

Can you tell us why?

The whole world would like to know!

@nupe:your nonsense knows no bounds!

So the emir of kano collects such a handsome amount monthly isn't it? Do you have some tangible proof to back up your statement?

If you do please share it with the rest of us! Else keep your nonsense to yourself.

You see i sincerely doubt you are nupe. In fact i'm very sure of it. If you can lie about who you are am sure you can lie about all else!

If the north can cook up population figures what stops the south from doing same? During the last census was it not a southerner who was the president? Rubbish.

As for sharia i will not even waste my time! 1 9ja whether you like it or not

Question for Donmans

Donmams, I challenge you to tell sahararepoters audience whether it is true that emir of kano collect 92 million Naira (£23 Million pounds) every single month or not, that by my previous analysis of the world population distribution it is clear that there is huge falsification of population in the north in order to steal money from federal government of Nigeria account, unfairly have more senators more house of rep. etc. Also can you explain to the audience the reason why you have sharia law aside federal government of Nigeria law, yet you are talking of one Nigeria. If you can not give satisfactory answer to this questions, be sure that even though you want one Nigeria, there will be no one Nigeria belief me.

HAUSA/FULANI STAND ON HIGHER MORAL PEDESTAL

Those who are acquainted with authentic historical records know this fact that hausa/fulani are on higher moral ground than any other tribe in Nigeria. The Jihad of Uthman Fodio speaks volumes about that.
Admittedly, preIslamic Hausa/Fulani people were like most other pagan tribes. However, Divine Grace chose them to embrace Islam, the no nonsense religion that terrifies people who hated to be restrained from a life of frivolities and hedonism.
Being part of Lugards amalgam, no doubt hausa/fulanis gave and took. Some of what they took withered down their morality and that's why almost everyone is cursing and abusing them. They shouln't mind. IT'S JUST A NATURAL CALL TO ORDER!

@Summary of hausa/fulani leadership

Donmams, it is very clear to me now that it is either you lack the true political history of Nigeria or you are simply a mischief maker, who though is aware of the truth but choose to lie, but then I wont be surprise at you because I know that Hausa/Fulani are born liars. What you are trying to do is stating events but not telling us the cause of those events. One thing you have to understand is this, it is written that by the mouth of two or three people the truth shall be established. If Nupe people are saying Fulani are the problem of Nigeria,Tiv people are saying same thing, Igala are saying the same thing,Beron people are saying the same thing, Ibo are saying the same thing, Yoruba people are saying the same thin, Ijaw are saying the same thing,Benin people are saying the same thing,Calabar people are saying the thing,Idoma and all other group are in no doubt as to the origin of the mess that this country has found itself, listen Donman I rest my case

Summary of hausa/fulani leadership

6 glorious years of prosperity between 1960-1966. Then cut short by christian terrorists.

Yakubu gowon spent 8 years but because he was christian he was not touched by the christian killer squads.

Murtala did more in 6 months than gowon did in eight years but again the christian killer squad struck just six months into his reign.

Obasanjo, a christian was left to rule in peace for 3 years. Then shagari, who also witnessed serial corruption during his regime was allowed to rule until buhari stepped in.

He was also dethroned by CIA sponsored IBB, and IBB, the father of corruption in nigeria was allowed to spend another 8 years, barring a half hearted coup attempt by the same christian killers.

Is it not instructive that no muslim led coup led to a single loss of life?

@anonymous-hausa/fulani at war on many fronts.

Needless to say you did not answer any of the questions i had raised earlier, you don't seem to be able to understand my point. You claim hausa/fulani have ruled this country for forty years. Granted. But hausa/fulani don't have anything to show for it after all these years for one reason and one reason only. Christian terrorism. Our independence day leaders were killed by christian bigots, next up was murtala: Again gunned down by christian terrorists. But it took almost six years for christian terrorists to even attempt to kill the only corrupt northern leader we had! In fact you left him there for 8 years! Do you now see my point? In those 8 years IBB managed to destroy everything that all our past head of states had established before him! Because of this the christian warlords did not find him ripe for assasination! You even managed to get to Abacha! So tell me who should be shouting injustice?

you people should be very

you people should be very careful about the things u write about Buharis daughter--anybody caught attempting to destroy her will be boko haramed-be warnd--southerners are not allowed to take our women to bed==like father like daughter

@Donmams. HAUSA/FULANI NOW HAS WAR ON SO MANY FRONTS IN NIGERIA

@Donmams. You do not seem to understand that Hausa/Fulani directly and indirectly commanded Nigeria for close to four decades and the result is this mess today. Hausa/Fulani has so many fighting fronts against the Nigerdelta, Igbo, Yoruba, Tiv, etc. Hausa/Fulani destroyed the fabric of Nigeria through greed and intolerance for others. It used military leaders loyal to it to mutilate a once working political structure in Nigeria. Today, take away oil money, most of those 'uncountable' number of states that soldiers loyal to Hausa/Fulani created in the corenorth shall crumble. Developments in many once developing southern towns were nearly halted for new cities in the north through undue large number of states created in the corenorth. Oil revenues are mostly funnelled to the north at the expense of some areas in the south. Hannatu is apparently young and does not seem to understand the roots of Nigeria's political problems fermented over the years by Hausa/Fulani excessive greed.

Crude Oil Unity, Boko haram, Sharia Disunity

By the time they ban the use of photoshop and the excessive pan cake you use. By the time Japanese people enforce the patent on NINJA dressing.You go know.
Boko Haram has now gone into writing. Thank God no more bloodshed and making Nigeria ungovernable.
Personal wey dey pursue other commot for him town na him want one Nigeria.

LIE

The formula led to an answer but the this article did not......turning around while still stagnated does not mean moving forward. Our leaders need to come to a round table and discuss/ there is nothing wrong in breaking apart for regional identities that override that of the centre. But if we chose to be together, then all regional resentments should be abolished (I dislike d idea of zoning everything in Nigeria)

@nupeman lies lies lies and more lies

So it is the hausa/fulani aka muslims that are the problem isn't it? Tell me, is it the hausa/fulani that committed the atrocities of january 1966? It is the hausa fulani that were behind the killing of murtala mohd? Arguably nigeria's best president? Is it hausa/fulani that killed themselves in the 1987 kaduna massacre in kafanchan? A massacre for which a certain general was sentenced to death? Is it the hausa/fulani that killed over 1000 of their brothers and sisters in the same kafanchan in 2011? Isn't it obvious to you who the real murderers are in this country?

HANNATU'S FORMULA OF SYMBIOSIS

.... If individuals in government loot our coffers, they, and not their village folk, should take individual responsibility for their misappropriation. If some crazy, demonic fanatic goes on a murderous rampage and blows up guiltless Nigerians, the blood of the innocents should be on that individual person’s hands and not on all the people who read the same scripture as him.......
FRANK TALK HANNATU!KEEP IT UP BUT REMEMBER NOT TO BE DETERRED IN YOUR WRITE UPS (PREACHING PEACE)BECAUSE SOME DUMB & MENTALLY DERAILED IDIOTS ARE READING IT TOO.THOSE FOOLS FAILED TO REALISE THAT:
AFTERALL,IN EVERY SET OF JESUS DICIPLES;THERE MUST BE A JUDAS!

What a nice article. You are

What a nice article. You are right wrongs should be put on individual not on the tribe or faith the person belongs to

@nupe man. Your bias simply stinks to the high heavens

So the fulani's only know how to kill kill kill abi? When the fulani's kill it's barbarism but when the beroms kill that is not even worth mentioning is it?

Let me take you back to 1966. The coup that killed all of our northern leaders then was carried out by christian officers. Yet you don't hear muslims calling christians all sorts of cannibalistic names. All the bloody coups in this country were led by christians. The kaduna crisis of '87 witnessed the murder of muslims in the thousands. Now you can open your dirty mouth to accuse the fulani's. You must be a joker

Fulani are the problem of Nigeria

The hausa are talking of one Nigeria yet they have no respect for Nigeria Law and constitution they introduced sharia law. This simply translate means they want their own country. All citizen of a country must be govern by same law and the same constitution. Hausa/Fulani acts with no recourse or regard for Nigeria and Nigerians. I have never had of Hausa/fulani life been threaten anywhere in the south or the middle belt, but since I was born I constantly hear the news of other Nigerians being murdered by hausa/fulani in the north or life been threatened, yet they want one Nigeiria, I don't get it. If they are intolerant of other Nigerians why do they want to share the same country with them, Ninja face Hannatu is not talking about this she wants to generalise and sweep the main issue under the carpet.

@donmams

Donmams, whatever you real name is, how I wish you will start thinking right and be truthful to yourself, your are in self denial, Fulani are animals. Let me tell you I am not from south and I'm not from the north either I know you will like to trivialize the issues and make it look as if it is south versus north believe me it is not. I will be honest with you the least Nigeria need at the moment is to restructure. Things can not definitely continue like where all the Hausa/Fulani want to do is to steal to kill and destroy and the make it look as if is general problem then sweep the truth under the carpet by boko haram wife the Ninja face Hannatu Musawa

Re:Another fool with inferiority complex

Donmams, I thought you will have a better response than this, how I wish you can sit down and reflect on the fact that you have been presented with , think about the enormous damage both normadic and domestic fulani have done to the northern Nigeria and Nigeria Nation as a whole. Could it be because all Fulani used to be nomadic, moving from desert to desert before taking over the Hausa cities from them, therefore you people have become animals and lost all sense of humanity, proportion, rational thinking and are unable to have peaceful co-existence with other human being except by threaten their life. You want to kill Beron, you want to Nupe, you want to kill Ibo, you want to kill Yoruba, there is no end to your thirst for the blood of innocent people, you are not address that, you are talking of inferiority complex, what a shame. Just to let you know I'm a man with supreme confidence, but you have lost all sense of humanity.

@kaladawilliams the buffoon.

there is simply no limit to your hypocrisy is there? You and your SS clique of drunken fishermen now have the guts to ask for separation isn't it. I wonder aloud why this calls by you greedy separatists was not this loud when abacha was still alive? Or when obasanjo was still president. Your greedy calls for separation just exposes the kind of thieves people like you and deri are.
When oil was just $9/barrel you fools did not consider the unity of this country unimportant. How things have changed right now. If you really want to go your separate ways why not do so now? Who is stopping you? GEJ does not give a damn. Go now and stop disturbing the rest of us. Oloshi

Hausa/Fulaini Countinous lie

Hamisu BGAnonymous or whatever you call yourself, the information is not false but the truth. The Retired Major Omar stated in one of his interview that emir of Kano collects 2 million Naira from each local government of Kano state every month. There are 46 local governments 46X2=92million Naira this is equivalent of £23 million British pounds a month and I maintain that the queen of England can not ream of this amount. This apart from money that the emir kano gets from the state government and other sources. There is no limit to Hausa/fulani greed, with their excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what they deserves. They have no sense of proportion and fairness, all the they want to do is grab,hate, kill turn the rest to almanjiris then turn around and say they want one Nigeria, how can that be

Continuous lie of Hausa/Fulani

Hamisu BGAnonymous or whatever you call yourself for you information I am educated and have a sound knowledge of the world population distribution. Listen to this, in Egypt with 80million people over 70% of their population distribution is along the coastal cities of Cairo, Alexandria etc. In America the population density is concentrated along the east coast,the west coast and southern coastal states. Coming nearer home check out the population distribution of Ghana, Cameroon, Congo, Senegal, Ivory Coast, Benin Republic ,Togo etc. Nigeria is the only exception throughout the whole world. How can it be, in Nigeria we have the desert, arid and semi arid regions as densely populated but the coastal and green vegetation belt as sparsely populated. Is there a limit to which the Hausa/Fulani will lie in order to gain criminal advantage on other Nigerians, you people are shameless liars. This is why you always want one Nigeria, because you think the rest of us are fools

Beer Math Joke!!

The only source of unity in Nigeria is oil period! All these useless barren states created by Hausa-Fulanis and Yorubas are parasitically seating waiting for federal allocations to pay to their waste products called staffs not development. Take oil out of the equation all such phony enthusiasm toward unity will simply fade or dissipate without noise. I'm always sick of Nigeria about everything that i don't want to hear anything unity. God will destroy this contraption one day so i wouldn't hv to deal with some rogues and hypocrisy like the so called pastor Tunde Baker, Islamic Boko Haram and many Yoruba's white collars thieves that are destroying Niger Delta in the name of corporation or oil companies.

Another write-up in

Another write-up in self-denial. If the structure isn't right, the strategy cannot work. It is delusional to think that Nigeria will work the way it is today. Either we re-structure or disintegrate. No third option is sustenable in the long-run. You are either mischevious or naive to think otherwise.

Another fool with inferiority complex

A stupid idiot claiming the north is inflating population figures for favours from the federal govt. Dumb fool if the previous census conducted by past gov'ts were overseen by northerners, what about the census conducted by obj? If those figures were inflated whose fault is that? What is your problem with the population of the north? Is it our fault that we are more populated than the south? You should put the blame where it actually belongs rather than blame mere mortals.

RE: HAUSA/FULANI

Please stop writing false information because of your personal interest, who told you emir of kano used to collect 92million naira every month, let me tell you, this your finding is totally false.and try and go back to school and learn about population before you start talking about it. secondly find out which category of population did kano state fall into. sometimes i wonder why some people enjoying forwarding false information, just to tarnish some one image and the most annoying thing is, you are not even from kano and you want to talk on behalf of kano people, better face your problem. i believe you too have traditional ruler at your area go and challenge him first, before coming to other people territory. our people respect traditional rulers and we dont have any grudges with them because they serve us and protect us even before the colonial rule. unlike yours.

article written by Hannatu Musa

Simply brillant! I am impressed.

Post a comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
Comments are limited to a maximum of 1000 characters.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <p> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.