Patience Jonathan And The Koboko On The Rafter By Pius Adesanmi

Columnist: 
Pius Adesanmi

A Yoruba proverb warns a new bride against vices such as hubris, cockiness, vainglory, and, above all, seeking to profit from the misfortunes of the wife or wives who came before her.

The proverb captures the relegation of senior wives in a polygamous setting. The succulent, vivacious, young, new bride, now the focus of the husband’s unalloyed devotion, should take no pleasure in the lot of the senior wives. For the koboko of relegation, so painfully administered on the backs of her seniors, is only sent to the rafter on sabbatical leave. In time, when the patriarch goes off and marries yet another nubile beauty, that koboko would come down from the rafter to visit the back of the new wife who now mocks the condition of the senior wives and seeks to benefit from it.

I have researched and taught what we call the verbal arts in Africa long enough to understand the fact that a proverb in one language often has equivalents in other African languages. In essence, I have to assume that the Yoruba proverb about the koboko on the rafter has equivalents in the oral epistemologies of the Ijaw language. It should not be too much of a task for Patience Jonathan’s kinsmen and women to share that little wisdom with her in the wake of the ugly roforofo fight that has pitted her against her predecessor, Hajia Turai Yar’Adua. And if there is no one to give her an Ijaw equivalent, Dr Doyin Okupe, the sixty-year old pitbull recently hired by his younger brother and younger sister to do their roforofo fights for them, might as well begin by getting the proverb across to his new employers.

The greatest weakness of incumbency is the trap of the present. Incumbency of power is a mental affliction nurtured by sycophancy. The sycophants who surround the incumbent (staff, aides, jobbers, opportunists, party members, hangers-on, irresponsible elders, etc) nurture this disease by making sure that the patient is deprived its only cure: sentience. Once sentience is permanently lost, it is easy for this disease to begin its work by eroding the patient’s memory and the ability to project into any reality beyond his nose. No yesterday. No tomorrow. No past. No future. For the incumbent, the only vivifying human experience is the right now, the today in which he reigns supreme, what with the sycophants telling him that there was nothing before him and there shall be nothing after him.

The trap of the present is how to explain why Turai Yar’Adua could not remember the fate of Maryam Abacha before her while she visited the familiar vicissitudes of First Ladyhood on hapless Nigerians during her husband’s reign. She did not remember the ecclesiastical vanities of Maryam Babangida and where it all ended. After working on the backs of the two Maryams, the proverbial koboko of fate went to rest on the rafter. It has now returned and is working with fury on Turai’s back. The ancestors are always wise with their sayings. But Turai is not our subject today. Therefore, this is neither the place nor the time to revisit her many sins or to look too closely into how she came about the funds used to purchase the Abuja plot of land that has now become the object of Patience Jonathan’s covetousness and unbridled acquisitive wobia. Wobia is one of those Yoruba concepts that the English language cannot adequately carry so we shall have to make do with gluttony.

We all know the details by now and there is no need to rehash the essentials. Suffice it to say, however, that the combatants have returned to court after a thoroughly embarrassed Presidency failed to secure a family affair settlement. Turai would settle for no other land but the disputed plot. We also know that Senator Bala Mohammed, the thoroughly irritating and ultra-sycophantic FCT Minister, has been hee-hawing all over the place, explaining the land mess as a restitutive measure. Nigerians need to worry about this Bala Mohammed fellow. His entire instinct seems to be about how to out-sycophant every sycophant misleading the Jonathans. He exists only to please the Presidential couple. Sometimes, the day-to-day running of the FCT seems a distraction to his higher purpose of groveling for the Jonathans. After renaming Maitama after his boss and grabbing Turai’s land for Patience, he may wake up tomorrow and allocate the Eagle Square to the Jonathans.

But the greatest culprit in this mess is Patience Jonathan. Of all the lands she could grab in Abuja, it had to be Turai’s land. I am calling it Turai’s land because I am not buying the nonsense that these First Ladies acquire such lands for their pet projects. In our national experience, First Ladies’ pet projects have always been a clever way of stealing land and the funds donated to those projects during loud launching ceremonies. Those who actually believe that Patience Jonathan has any intention of using the said land for some transformative African First Ladies secretariat need to have their heads examined. They never depart from the pattern because they are trapped in the present. At best, Julius Berger would move in and throw sand and cement around. The project would stall and once the Jonathans are out of office, the real purpose for which the land was acquired would start to manifest. Let’s not kid ourselves. This is Nigeria.

This is exactly where I fear for Patience Jonathan. Right now, she lives in the bubble of today. She is trapped in the present, surrounded by aides and sycophants whose function is to keep reality at bay. For now, Patience Jonathan is only guided by one base instinct: her acquisitive wobia. That’s why she went all the way back to Bayelsa to become a ghost worker. Those of us who are watching this drama from the outside can only pity her. She does not know that the koboko she is administering so rudely on Turai’s back today, using the ever-useable Bala Mohammed, will return to the rafter to wait patiently and calmly. In 2015 or 2019, we do not know the name of the First Lady who will send somebody to fetch that koboko from the rafter in order to send it on new errands but we know certain things for sure.

We know that in 2015 or 2019, the koboko thrashing Turai’s back today will begin to work assiduously on another back. And the owner of that back is Patience Jonathan. We also know that Doyin Okupe, Reuben Abati, and the entire cast of sycophantic aides around the Jonathans will be around to help the next First Lady bring down that koboko from the rafter. We know that if he continues to play his card the way he has been playing it, Senator Bala Mohammed may successfully AGIP his way into the next administration and be around to grab this same plot of land from Patience Jonathan and award it to her successor, just after re-renaming Maitama after the next president. We know these things but the Jonathans, trapped in the present, do not.
 

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When will Deri learn to accept the truth about the drunken president? Pius' dad and uncle were teachers, and were not rich or chopped money. I guess your father was enslaved by Northerners and was lucky to return to Nigeria after Biafra war.

pius the oyibo boko hramist need our pity

Obama has already admitted to some blunders along the way. He told Charlie Rose in a July 16 interview: "The mistake of my first term—couple of years—was thinking that this job was just about getting the policy right. And that's important. But the nature of this office is also to tell a story to the American people that gives them a sense of unity and purpose and optimism, especially during tough times." I dont depend on the imported brains of pius in kogi state or cananda to exercise the right to freely express my views here-Pius has more trouble containing the armed satanic sect groups boko haram in his poverty stricken environment them Deri. Should 9ja break up tomorrow his state will fall under the hammer of buhari and the fulani dancers band-I dont know if he has collected his dads pension--may be that is why he is laughing laughter here-animals

KOBOKO

Spot on Pius, Would Patience ever read this, would she even comprehend if she get to read it, "KOBOKO".

KOBOKO

Spot on Pius, hope Patience read this, but can she really read and comprehend?

KOBOKO

Spot on Pius, hope Patience read this, but can she really read and comprehend?

You are have to clue of what accountability is

You are telling that the appropriation of public land to individuals no matter how power is normal. Maybe normal for Nigerians living in mad bubble but not others .how much are these critter paying for the land. Ate they paying the real market value to the public coffers. It is the subtle theft and misuse of public resources that is responsible for the state of the country.these little thing add up to a lot at the end of the day. Have u ever seen any royalty collected from fishing rights,mining rights in the national budget. These people are suppose to be custodian of the people wealth . However they are go urging themselves on it. The next thing is that you will see a semi literate judge with a colo mentality wig on his head sitting down to decide who is the owner of stolen property.

deri's madness

what do you expect of a man who was born in beer parlour with a bottle of ogoro in his right hand? Nothing good will definately come out of him. Iam sure that @Deri will go mad before the end of BadLuck tenure. There is no doubt that @deri is petience Jonathan shoe shinner and abeneficiary of Jonathan's wasteful bonaza. Nothing can stop that koboko from descending on patience Jonathan.

Are the thieves being

Are the thieves being arrested left right and centre in the fuel subsidy scam by efcc Ijaws? The pension fund thieves who made it impossible for the late father of Pius to collect his benefits hails from the 3 old regions of 9ja-oil was discovered in the Niger delta in 1957. Nigeria has so far collected over 55 trillion from oil revenue. Out of which only 1.7trillion went to the oil producing states in the SS. The rest of 9ja stole 53.3 trillion-yet u want me to talk about corruption to who? The Yorubas, Ibos and Fulani thieves? Alams became the first executive governor of Bayelsa state in 2005. Meaning stealing started in that state where the president hails from just 7 yrs ago. Yet the wealth of the nation comes from his zone. Fiscal federalism you say no way-except Oil revenue welfarism to assist d rest of 9ja depend on d SS-still you talk when niger deltans are talking in 9JA .Often want to share the same space with us in the SS

Thank you Pius . You forgot

Thank you Pius . You forgot to add that the koboko could start working on Madam Patience's back as early as this September 'cos the National Assembly will definitely impeach Jonathan.

Ghana did not need doctrine of necessity 4 J. Mahama

When they abuse GEJ and its given back to dem in their own dirty smelly coins, the Pius, Ositas and tundemess begin to fume and fret over nothing. Dem curse the day Deri was born-cause they think we all can be fooled by the fulani mafia sponsored rubbish that Pius often publishes here for BH to repond to-u can feel the deep seated hatred for ijaws in the SS from Canada to Kogi state in him. If his father as alleged by Pius died waiting for his pension and he discovers that it was members of the Wazobia brigade led by his uncle that made his father lose his retrement benefit, what was Pius supposed to do? A sane person whould have devoted his life to chasing the animals who sent his dad to his early grave-instead he is here talking about madam dame-Is Turai a good example of how women should behave in a democracy? Was turai supposed to rear her ugly head in such a controversial matter again? Pius take a trip to Ghana b4 we secede and see how John Mahama took over-from late John Mills-

why was Azazi sacked- for fulani dasuki

THE fragile political situation in the country may be further eroded by a northern cabal which is clandestinely plotting the removal of President Goodluck Jonathan from office.
This cabal which consists of prominent and influential politicians, military officers and businessmen have sworn to achieve their objective at all cost between now and next year. Sources disclosed that the cabal has recruited some influential members of the House of Representatives to push their political desires to a boiling point.
“They have also made far-reaching incursion in the senate as some disgruntled senators have been successfully lured to the side of the cabal.”

comment

I keep laughing on every sentence before I finish it. Our people
Never learn from the experience of others. Time shall tell. You have read the psychology of our people. May Allah add you in wisdom Mr Adesanmi.

The Table Turned

Before the table turned, Turai was far more sophiscated, intelligent, cunning and has more power than the Jonathans combined.

Many of the people making noise right now dare not breath in her presence when she was in power.

Now Her Lordship & Excellency PSBS Chief Dr Mrs Dame Patience Umblerra Jonathan is trying to show Turai her rat muscles forgetting about the koboko which will descend sooner than Pius predicted.

The Problem is while The Jonathans are filling their pockets they'd be looking around for a Yardua who they'd put in Aso rock to cover their back and keep the doors open for future chopulation.

TURAI/PATIENCE LAND "WAHALA"

My understanding of this entire shameful brouhaha is that the land is allocated essentially for "1st lady's projects". If that is the case, the reasonable thing would have been for Patience to continue with the project started by Turai. In my view Turai's project directed at cancer cure is a more laudable one than the rubbish Patience is talking about. So I do not see the need for either party seeking adjudication by the courts. Unless, ofcourse, the land was allocated in the personal name of Turai. If this is the case, then the FCT Minister should be prosecuted for misappropriating our common heritage. NO 1st LADY OR 1stHUSBAND PROJECT SHOULD EVER BE ALLOCATED LAND IN THEIR PERSONAL NAMES FOR PROJECTS. That is the height of sychophancy!!!!

we may remain like this for awhile

Pius cannot criticize patience jonathan, because he's not from south south, but Pius is a Nigerian, and Jonathan was elected by Nigerians and not people from south south alone. In this clime, we are blinded by ethnicity and nepotism. @DERI, Pius uses his picture, he's not faceless, but you are and you hide under annonymousity and insult everyone. Reno Omkri, 'se je je'

DERI,HAVE U EVER SAID ANYTHING AGAINST CORRUPTION IN YOUR LIFE

I urged people to vote for Jona,I took his word that he would honestly stand against corruption.Corruption and embezzlement of public funds is the reason why Nigerians are suffering,take a good look at the polluted Niger delta,just yesterday the Al-Jazeera correspondent ran a news article on that region,do people deserve to live like that?it is someone's job and that person(s) is probably a millioniare.
All the PDP fat cats charged with massive corruption by the courts and EFCC are all walking free,this cannot be a co-incidence,it is definitly systemic.
I was happy to see a southerner sworn in as President,I do not have anything personal against Jona,Nigeria is just more important than any person.

All hail Lord Deri

@aminu babayo and all those that want Deri's I think u shld leave crucial issues like this to both when to settle.there's a constitutional review going and the 19 northern states gubnors are ready to ruin it.what ur skc shld be doing now is to invite all ur elected reps and let dem know how much u want ur autonomy.I tot saharareporters is pro SNC also where is ur criticism on the backward position of these gubnors. Deri might be a court jester who lacks pius's satire but if u remove all sentiments u will c how reasonable he is. After how did obasanjo handle d presidential library project.abeggi make una go siddon

@Deri, Jona's houseboy

When will Deri learn to accept the truth about his master. the drunken president? Pius' dad and uncle were teachers, and were not rich or chopped money. I guess your father was enslaved by Northerners and was lucky to return to Nigeria after Biafra war.

@Osita have u ever said anything good about Jona-in yr life?

When his uncle was stealing cheques meant for pensioners in 9ja, little did he realise that it will affect another Kogi man who happens to be the late father of Pius. The mother had to traverse the entire abuja landscape in search of some-one to help her to no avail. The same Koboko Pius is using to flog Jona and Dame, now goes back to his late father-If and only If his uncle who is now cooling off in jail had known that his thieveries would affect the father of Pius-he would have spared a thought for him. The money came from the oil revenue of d SS. Not Kogi state. Again the first lady had earlier consulted with Turai and both of them accepted to have the wife of GEJ, embark on the project. Suddenly, vultures like Pius encouraged Turai to proceed to the courts. The only way out of these mess is for us to find a way of talking and splitting-we dont have anything in common that binds us together-apart from the oil wells-wonder how we managed to hang unto each other this long-

lawless turai

well said deri.some changes gola post evry day just to score temporal goals.Every body knows that turai is very lawless to the core.

Osita, I say amen to the prayer for Deri aka Reno Omokri

Osita, I say amen to the prayer for Deri aka Reno Omokri

Some Nigerians, since the corrupt government of Shagari and then encouraged by the most corrupt person of IBB, have lost respect for hard work.

There is dignity in labour and all the thieves ruling Nigeria today and their sycophants will soon perish.

Let us see how much of the stolen wealth they will take to their graves.

The curse of the masses will follow them to their graves and those of their descendants.

Yorubas say a good name is better than gold and diamonds.

I call this "idodo oro"; aka navel of the matter

Pius --

You have just hit the nail on the head...it is what I call "idodo oro"; aka navel of the matter.

In a couple of years, Madame Dame Patience Jonathan will suffer exactly the same fate being metted out to Turai now. Turai did same to Maryam The cycle will continue until Nigerians are ready to take back their future from the bunch of vagabonds parading as our leaders.

May God safe Nigeria from Nigerians...

A GOOD ONE

D MOST ANNOYING THING IS HER UNIQUE QUALITIES AMONG ALL D KNOWN NIGERIA FIRST LADIES SO FAR:VERY UGLY,STARK ILLITERATE,VERY SHORT(stella),FROGY-CROAKY VOICE,UNFASHIONABLE EVEN IN D MOST EXPENSIVE CLOTH & JEWELRIES,ALWAYS PREGNAT,MULTIFACETS(perm sec/1st lady;even Justice Fati A.A.did nt make dat noise!so u can c dat empty vessels make so much noise),name dem....& FOR BALA MOHD(sorry ojo maduekwe);WE ARE WAITING FOR HIM.WHAT EVER GOES UP MUST COME DOWN...even ur age...DEATH!

@DERI,HOW DARE YOU ABUSE THE HONEST DEAD.

Deri,you are abusing a late man who was honest during his lifetime and deserved a pension but for the dysfunctional system which you champion.
This tasteless personal attack on the family of Pius potrays your mental enslavement to the vain culture of your mentors.
As you gloat over this unfortunate event,examine your soul,will your life be more respectable than that of Pius' late Father?The crumbs falling off the rotten PDP table can last for so long and you do not know tomorrow,for you to refer to a man who worked hard and honest to cater for his family during his life as "poor",contentment in life will elude you,and your instiable nature will bring misfortune worse than poverty for you and your offspring.

WAS THE LAND TURAI'S PERSONAL PROPERTY?

I do no doubt the sagacity of Pius Adesanmi's commentary on this matter or the apparent bias of SAHARA REPORTERS Against the Jonathan specie.
WAS THE LAND in question TURAI'S PERSONAL PROPERTY?
Does Turai has any material right to lay claim to a land that was supposed to be earmarked for governmental projects.
Where and How did Turai raised money to fund that project.
Was it not right for turai to have handed over the project to Patience jonathan for adminstration to preserve whatever vision she had?
can the government convert a land it owns for other purposes? yes.
Does the land still belongs to the federal govt? yes.
Turai should be prosecuted for daring to come out publicly to claim a land that was not her person property.
I do not see any reason why the matter has to be settled out of court.
Turai should have been arrested and dealt with.
No need to say anything about Patience because if the right thing has been done to Turai Patience issue would fall in line.

Deri pls come to Damaturu we

Deri pls come to Damaturu we still have a reservation for you as a special guest. Or if u want we can come visit you. Stop hassling this good Yagba guy. Pius is OK. And Zero how dare you talk of his late dad that way. The SKC crowd will get you soon Zero.

ETHNICITY

Thank you Lanray. the problem with Nigeria is ethnicity whice is a major set back to our collectivhe development and the politician are enjoying it all.

Shut up Deri

Shut up Deri. U r irritating, clueless and stupid. Did u attend school at all?

LMBBAO

This reminds me of a fight between two women over another man's wife. We celebrate when looters fight over the sharing of their loot.

Deri: a case of the pot calling a kettle black

So all you can say to this write up is to insult the person of the writer?
So what's victim are you, because we are all victims of one thing or the other in Nigeria. Don't you also wallow in family troubles and generational poverty? Case of the pot calling the kettle black.
Go have a re-think and stop being the greatest sycophant around - it has and will never do you any good. Numbskull.